he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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