I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize