Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
is wine microwaveable?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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