thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize