What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
