Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
birth control should be required to get into college
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
