You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
