just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize