I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
