i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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