o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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