So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
