shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize