I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
