you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I love you. Go after that dick
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
