The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
