I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
