it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
