i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
