I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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