Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
