So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
