You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
