Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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