I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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