Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize