I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
