Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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