I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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