We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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