Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
