Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize