Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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