ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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