im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
