Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
