in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize