Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This baby is an asshole
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
