1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
