'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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