Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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