i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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