i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
There's even glitter on my cock...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
