"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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