Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
