Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
accomplished twins. life is a go
worst night to have a conscience
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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