Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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