You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
