oh god the rape fog is back!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
