based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
