Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
