I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
