Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
So. Much. Porn.
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