Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
