Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
