These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
