I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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