The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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