I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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