Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Are my feet made of real feet?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
