At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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