mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
