That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's shark week go big or go home
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
