so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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