I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
