it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
