and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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