I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
