did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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