Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
