After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My liver just had a heart attack.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize