Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
