Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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