I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's always time for handjobs
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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